Will Smith Speaks French?

Today's blog entry has been excavated from the "I wrote this two weeks ago and forgot to publish it" archives for your reading pleasure. Don't touch the glass, you little snots.

I swear to God, I just watched Will Smith walk out on stage at the Césars in Paris (it's like the Oscars except in Paris and no one watches it) and introduce himself and thank "the Academy" in French. Kind of surreal. And he had a really good accent. Everyone applauded. And then Sofia Coppola came out and tried to speak French, and it sounded like Doug drunk in the dining room speaking French. Actually, I kid, I'd hate to insult Doug like that. It was bad.

Maybe a week ago I watched "I, Robot" dubbed in French. I've never seen the movie in the first place, but I'd seen the trailers and read the book, so I had a decent idea of what to expect. My unrelated observations are here presented in list form:

• I understood more of that movie by reading Will Smith's lips and watching his exaggerated gestures than by actually comprehending any of the words that were spoken.
  
• The dude who did the French dub for Will Smith had a notably higher-pitched voice than the man himself, which made for pretty entertaining listening.
• Even funnier was when I could see the Fresh Prince himself snap his head around like he does, hold a long "Daaaay-umn," and hear the uninspired French voice actor say "merde."
• Please tell me the robot's name wasn't "Sunny" in the original as well. It's hard enough to take the little iFruit seriously in the first place.
  
• "Detective Spooner" sounds pretty of funny in English. "Détecteeeve Spew-nair" is just crack-up hilarious.
• I am never going to watch an American movie dubbed in French in a theater, because I would probably have more fun burning my money.

[Ed. note - That concludes our blast from the past. Back to today's news!]

Also, Lance Armstrong is a sellout. He was quoted in a bunch of French dailies today endorsing Paris for the Olympics in 2012, not only saying that it would be a better place for it than New York but adding that the Olympics are only in Beijing in 2008 because of "political reasons." What a douche. I'm still going to watch him kick ass and chew bubblegum in the Tour this summer, though.

Finally, while in Paris this weekend, I was roundly impressed by the wholesale violation of Parisian monuments that has occurred for the sake of promoting Paris' bid for the 2012 Olympics. Both the Eiffel Tower and the Champs Elysées are covered in garish "Paris 2012" paraphenalia. Oh, and an immense building along the Champs Elysées is covered in an Atlas-sized Louis Vuitton bag. You need to see it to believe it. I'll post a link to the picture when it's up. Everyone's giving in to the man today.

I've got a bajillion things to write about, and no time to do it, so posts will be coming at a steady trickle. [Ed. - bad joke deleted]